fillet-of-who?

But men will always have wandering eyes. It is a hard and true fact. It isn’t that your date/boyfriend/husband doesn’t like/care about/love you, they simply like beautiful things. Don’t assume he’s always looking at a woman.

To the eyes of your humble author, owning a car is like having a girlfriend. We spend time together, take care of one another, get dirty and get into arguments. But at the end of the day, we will always enjoy each others company. To be quite honest, I couldn’t live without her. Not seeing the connection? Let me lay it out for you…

Getting to know one another: This phase typically takes time for both parties. You have to figure out what she likes and dislikes (Likes: Regular Unleaded, Dislikes: 5w-40), treat her right (good wash ‘n wax should do), and make sure that she doesn’t have a history (previous accident, namely).

Dates: Every so often you should take her out. Let her get all dressed up (shine those wheels and tires) and find a good place to go and enjoy the scenery. Not all dates have to be out to the town though. It’s never too cold to go play in the snow (Make sure she has proper attire -shameless pun- for maximum pleasure).

Anniversaries: Treat her to a State Inspection once a year. Naturally she’ll always ask for something expensive to celebrate (new belts, clutch, brakes).

Day to day living: She’ll always need a little money for something (most often its gas, sometimes oil) and being a gentlemen, you’ll refuse to let her pay. During the spring and fall she’ll want more money for a new outfit or shoes (summer tires/winter tires).

Saying, “Goodbye”: As with many relationships, you’ll start to wear on each other after a while. Her constant whining (broken fan motor) and high maintenance won’t make things any easier. And like the rest of us, she’ll start to sag and get cancer (rust) at some point. When this happens, you just gotta leave her. Don’t look back though, there are plenty of younger, more attractive women out there (at your favorite local dealer).

Knowing when you found, “The One”: This is indeed a rare moment and a very special one at that. You’ll know when you found “The One” when you look forward to going on dates (drives), don’t mind spending time together (washing and detailing) and even take the time to work out your differences (replacing a broken fan motor is a pain you know). You may even come up with new ways to keep one another busy (restoration). Some people may not stick with the one they love forever, but they will always remember them.

And now I ask you? Have you met the (automotive) love of your life? Have any (automotive) crushes?

Pearl, you’ll forever be in my heart.