fillet-of-who?

We’ve all had them, especially in our younger years, when we were vibrant youthful lads or lasses. Some have been common, shared with our pals at the lunch tables, while others have been hidden and scandalous. To bring them up would provoke ridicule from even our most trusted friends and shame our family names for eternity.

But times have changed. Now that the proverbial lunch table is a far less personal place where we can hide behind our monitors in our own safe rooms, bringing these things out in the open is far less dangerous. So let me be the get the ball rolling, and open my heart up to you all in an attempt to break the ice on the subject.

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Princess Leia from the original Star Wars movies. If any of you did (or do) not have a crush on Princess Leia then I kindly ask that you leave right now. She arrived in my life right around the time my feeble mind was trying to comprehend the meaning of the word “sexy”. In that respect she did more than answer that question, but she became the definition thereof. Princess Leia had it all. The way she could just take command of a situation and hop on a speeder bike blasting through dense jungle forests at near blinding speeds without a thought to the danger involved was captivating. Her long hair was always doing something new and exciting, although I could have done without the ear muffs. Plus she has all the emotional stress of a blown-up home world to make her vulnerable. Not to mention she looks pretty damn good in a metal bikini.

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Jessica Rabbit from the Roger Rabbit movies. I believe Jessica Rabbit came around far before I had started having thoughts of ladies, so the feelings she gave me were very confusing. She was everything my mother would hate in a woman, and I loved her for it. The slinky dresses, luscious lipstick, and overall naughty attitude just screamed good times. She was that secret scandalous love affair that I didn’t yet know I wanted.

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Jasmine from Aladin. To me Jasmine was more than just another sexy lady who could take care of herself, she represented all the unknown and foreign exotic mysticism of a completely different culture. Her silk clothes, well tanned skin, and exotic jewelry all created a mystic and captivating allure. Plus she showed a lot of skin, which is pretty hot on cartoon characters.

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Topanga Lawrence from Boy Meets World. I watched this show for most of my youth. It was a very fundamental part of my adolescence, to sit down every Friday evening with my parents and my brother and a big bowl of popcorn and watch Family Matters and Boy Meets World. Around the time Corey and Topanga started to get more physical I started to realize that deep inside I was harboring feelings of hatred and jealously towards Corey. This was far more than just a physical attraction. Topanga was, most likely, my first true love.

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Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. I’ll admit it, it was mostly the boobs. Seriously, whoever sat down and thought, “Hey, most video game players are either low-life scum who will never get laid or horny teenagers, so let’s make a video game character with huge knockers!” should get a promotion. Lara has everything you will find on any guy’s list of things he looks for in a chick: a huge rack, guns, big boobs, short shorts, and a really nice set of chesticles. To see this character brought to life through Angelina Jolie was probably the greatest and most epic moment in manhood.

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Well, that rounds off my top five, but I’m sure I missed several. So the question is, will you join me in showing the world your top five fictional crushes?